I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
