Just cropdusted the office
i think i have herpe
just one?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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