I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
