i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
