omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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