I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
