are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
