I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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