so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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