we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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