It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
