There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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