false alarm. still invincible.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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