I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She even gives head with a lisp.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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