Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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