morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
