I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
