So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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