Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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