Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
