the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize