I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
