Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You took a bar mat shot.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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