Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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