If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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