I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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