Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
