3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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