Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
