Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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