you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
