Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
