I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
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