My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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