She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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