I'm really into asian looking animals
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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