Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
