I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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