Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
