who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
