check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
