That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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