Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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