Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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