yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
