shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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