either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
