We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Houston, we have a blender
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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