she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
