You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
