After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
